Every month this newsletter has been focusing on how to wow in the first 7 seconds of meeting somebody. We've zoomed in on eye contact, deliberate movements & gestures and the handshake. Now we're going to have a closer look at your posture, which is hugely important if you want to come across as engaged and authoritative.
Has your mum ever told you not to slouch?
Well, she was right - I'm going to tell you exactly the same thing! But it is not just about standing tall and sitting up straight, it is also about showing with your posture that you are ready for action, in control and committed.
Working on good posture will not only make your mother happy: research shows that the way we sit, stand and move have big implications on our mood and happiness, and posture has proven to be a key element in how you are being perceived.
Over and over again, the message is: sit up straight. I'm going to add: "lean slightly forward" too.
Without trying to sound like your mother, I'm going to give you 3 simple tips:
1. Stand or sit tall like a Puppet on a String
Remember the Thunderbirds? The science fiction tv series starring puppets who always seemed to be going off into space? Well, you could have faulted them on their acting abilities, but not on their posture! That was because they were literally being held upright by a string. This image is something that might work for you.
Imagine yourself being held up by a puppeteer that keeps your head up, lengthens your neck and arches your back.
2. Be Ready to Pounce
Now, imagine Usain Bolt, ready to sprint out of the starting blocks. He's mastered the balance between relaxed muscles that allow him to move freely and a strong body that is pumped up to perform to its fullest potential. Obviously, you don't have to look like somebody about to sprint 100 metres in 9.58 seconds, but this image might give you a sense of what you need to express with your posture: ready to engage.
This means: Feet grounded on the floor and a slightly energised muscular tension throughout your body.
Does this mean you can't ever lean into one hip, to give yourself a bit more laid back look? No, just make sure you don't slouch when you do - or you'll lose that 'ready for action' look.
3. Total Body Turn
When you meet somebody, make sure you turn your body fully towards the other person - from head to toe, to express that this person has your undivided attention. Ever heard of the expression 'giving somebody the cold shoulder'? This actually happens in our day to day nonverbal communication and has a major impact on how others perceive you.
Also - be aware of what other body parts could be betraying you. Your chin could be just slightly up and sending the signal that you are dismissing your partner. Even if your feet are turned away, they send out signals - it sure is something that negotiators keep a close eye on. So make sure that you make a total body turn towards your partner if you want to send the signal that you are totally committed to meeting him/her.
So - want to make your mother proud? And win friends and influence people? For your next meeting, remember these 3 simple tips!
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